Why New Year's resolutions fail and how to make sustainable changes

The start of a new year can feel like an exciting opportunity—a clean slate to become a better version of yourself. Like many, I’ve felt the buzz of possibility that comes with writing down my resolutions, full of grand aspirations to exercise daily, eat perfectly, meditate every morning, or master a new skill.

But over the years, I’ve realised that this excitement can quickly morph and become overwhelming.

By mid-January, when life inevitably gets busy and my resolutions feel impossible to maintain, I’m left with a sense of failure instead of accomplishment. It’s disheartening, but it’s also incredibly common.

Studies show that while many people set New Year’s resolutions, 23% fail within the first week, and by February, 80% have been abandoned (Norcross, Mrykalo, and Blagys). Only 8% of people successfully achieve their resolutions (University of Scranton).

In recent years, I’ve been approaching the New Year differently—choosing a kinder, more sustainable way to grow. I want to share my journey and some practical tips to help you do the same.

The pressure to reinvent yourself

For years, I was caught in the trap of trying to completely reinvent myself every January. My resolutions would include things like:

• Workout every day

• Give up sugar entirely

• Wake up at ridiculous o'clock to meditate

At first, I felt inspired and motivated. But, inevitably I’d miss a workout session or eat something indulgent, and my enthusiasm would crumble. Instead of adjusting my goals, I’d abandon them altogether, thinking, “If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother?”

This all-or-nothing mindset is one of the main reasons resolutions fail. We set ourselves up with high expectations and little room for flexibility. When life throws its inevitable curveballs—work stress, family obligations, or even just a bad day—it becomes nearly impossible to stick to rigid plans.

Why it’s still great to set goals

By no means am I saying you shouldn’t set goals—having something to work towards can be incredibly rewarding. Goals give us direction, purpose, and a sense of accomplishment. But I’ve learned that the key to sticking with them is to break them down into smaller, bite-sized chunks that feel achievable.

For example:

• Instead of “work out every day,” aim to move your body three times a week in ways you enjoy, like dancing, walking, or yoga.

• Instead of “eat healthy all the time,” start with adding one extra serving of vegetables to your meals each day.

• Instead of “save a huge amount of money,” create a budget that allows you to save a manageable amount each month.

  
  

When you break your goals into smaller, actionable steps, they become less overwhelming and easier to stick with. And if your resolution starts to feel like too much, take a moment to reflect:

• What’s making this feel overwhelming?

• How can I adjust this goal to make it more sustainable?

• Is there a way to make this process more enjoyable?

Adjusting your goals isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a smart and compassionate way to make them work for you.

Gentle changes that build over time

Instead of attempting a complete life overhaul, I’ve found that focusing on small, sustainable changes can lead to lasting results. Here are some ideas to consider:

• Move your body in ways you enjoy: Exercise doesn’t have to mean hitting the gym for hours. Find activities that make you feel good, whether it’s dancing around your living room, taking a walk in nature, or trying a yoga class. Consistency is easier when you genuinely enjoy what you’re doing.

• Start small with nutrition: Rather than trying to overhaul your entire diet, begin with one or two simple changes. For instance, swap sugary drinks for water or add more whole foods to your meals. Over time, these small changes add up to big improvements in your health.

• Prioritise rest and recovery: In our fast-paced world, rest often feels like a luxury, but it’s essential for well-being. Try setting a bedtime routine, taking short breaks during the day, or learning to say “no” to things that drain your energy.

• Celebrate small wins: Focus on progress, not perfection. Whether it’s drinking more water, cooking a healthy meal, or simply taking a moment for yourself, every step forward deserves recognition.

• Build mindfulness into your day: Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean meditating for hours. Start with simple practices, like taking three deep breaths before starting your day or pausing to notice the taste and texture of your food. These moments of presence can reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

New Year’s resolutions: a shift in perspective

In 2023, I decided to ditch the traditional resolution model. Instead of a list of goals, I chose one word to guide my year: self-compassion. This word reminded me to approach every situation with kindness, whether I was navigating a stressful day or feeling disappointed in myself for skipping a workout.

This small shift in perspective made a huge difference. Instead of striving for perfection, I focused on treating myself with care and understanding. It became easier to keep going, even when I stumbled.

For 2024, my word is grace. To me, this means embracing life’s imperfections, forgiving myself when I fall short, and allowing things to unfold naturally. It’s a reminder that growth doesn’t have to be forced—it can happen gently and gradually.

Looking ahead to 2025, I’ve chosen the word trust. Like many, I often find it difficult to trust myself and tend to ignore my intuition or gut feelings. In the coming year, I aim to trust my inner guidance more and lean into my instincts. Trusting myself will allow me to make decisions with confidence and approach challenges with greater ease.

Reflecting on your goals

As you step into the new year, take a moment to reflect on what you want to achieve

and why. Ask yourself:

• Does this goal excite me, or does it feel like a chore?

• Am I setting realistic expectations for myself?

• How can I break this goal into smaller, actionable steps?

  
  

And most importantly, remember that it’s okay to adjust your goals as you go. Life is unpredictable, and what works for you today might not work tomorrow. The key is to stay flexible and compassionate with yourself.

A final thought: progress, not perfection

The New Year is a wonderful opportunity to grow and improve, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By focusing on small, meaningful changes and approaching your goals with kindness, you can create a year that feels fulfilling and sustainable.

Remember, growth is a journey, not a destination.

Whether you’re taking big steps or small ones, every effort counts. So, as you look ahead to the coming year, let go of the pressure to be perfect and embrace the joy of progress.

Wishing you a year filled with grace, self-compassion, trust, and gentle growth.

Do you have a word or theme for the year ahead? If so, what is it and why? I’d love to hear how you’re approaching the new year!

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Eloise x

References

Norcross, John C., Mrykalo, Melissa S., and Blagys, Michael D. “Auld Lang Syne: Success Predictors, Change Processes, and Self-Reported Outcomes of New Year’s Resolvers and Nonresolvers.” Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 58, no. 4, 2002, pp. 397–405.

University of Scranton. “Why Only 8% of New Year’s Resolutions Are Successful.” 2018.